Circle the Wagons

There's nothing better than watching a good Western on one of the movie channels. Whether it's John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, or James Stewart, I love the feel and spontaneity of the old West and the courage of the pioneers who had to fight for their land. Hundreds and hundreds of easterners made the decision to load up all their belongings, leave behind family and friends, and travel by wagon train out West to a new land and a new beginning.

It was inevitable and portrayed in a typical western flick, the wagon train was attacked and the cry went up , "Circle the wagons!" The strategy against foes like Native Americans and intruders was key - in making a circle with the covered wagons and hiding behind the carts, you had a better chance of protecting the people hiding inside the circle. At night when they were most vulnerable they would circle the wagons again to protect the livestock and supplies from raiders.

In the spiritual Godlife we many times practice the concept of "circling." With circling we purposefully build a wall around our true self for the express purpose of protecting our true self from being disclosed. Just like in the old West, we operate under the drive of fear - fear of rejection which leads to fear in our relationships. We work hard every day in order to keep the walls of the circle up of an image that is expected from others or an identity that is accepted by our friends and associates.

The underlying fear is that we will some day be discovered for who we really are.

God's love is not always touchable and is replaced by the pseudo-acceptance of more visible people that surround us in our world. They control our image, the image we have to maintain is always in the back of our minds. Like Native Americans on the prairie they always seem to be lurking in the distance instilling fear in our every move.

The opposite is true - the true experience of God's love within "centering" creates the freedom to be me without masks and performance. He loves you just as you are - that true person inside the circle.

God says, "Don't be afraid., I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine." (Isaiah 43:1b-2, The Message).

In the language of the old West, that's translated, "Don't be afeared, partner...I knows ya...I accepts ya...yer mine."

HeeeHa!

Cannibalism

The tragedies of Haiti have overtaken our emotions and caused us as Americans to rally around the ravaged country. We've been overwhelmed by mass graves, orphan children, and people without food. The pictures have moved many to donate resources, pray, and even to personally travel to the reeling country to volunteer help.

The hunger in Haiti is very real. People are walking the streets in search of anything to call food. While relief services are transporting tons of food to help feed the masses, the hunger pit seems bottomless. After eating today, the helpless hunger will return again tomorrow. the challenges ahead are centered in helping the people of Haiti develop new ways of feeding themselves in a country filled with rubble, unsanitary conditions, and disease.

In America, we have compassion for these tragic, helpless people. But the truth is that in many ways we have become hunger victims ourselves. I'm not talking about the food which is readily available at any number of dozens of food markets located within a short driving distance from our homes. Or the countless restaurants that dot the local landscape filled with hungry people that enjoy ordering more food than they can eat.

In America we are hungry to know ourselves. As individuals we chase the illusive "me" throughout our lives in a frantic daily sprint of activity that somehow creates an illusioned self. My job, my title, the things I've accumulated, my pleasures, all have become a food fix for trying to fill an empty stomach that seeks self-discovery and societal acceptance. We have become detached observers of our own lives caught in a squirrel cage, thinking that the constant squeaking of the wheel of our achievements is a verification of our reality and worth.

This chase motivated by hunger has actually eaten away at our true self as we are consumed by doubt and self-hate. We live in this sort of shadow existence in which we find our image self between our true self and God. As helpless observers, we watch ourselves living out a life we know to be a fragmented tragedy. This path of self hunger is not been relegated to non-Christians alone for it too has found its way into the church and consumed believers. The very thing we seek is being consumed by the drive to keep up an image. The result are lives filled with relational rubble and the disease of fearful rejection.

We have literally become cannibals of our true self.

Paul wrote, "Don't become so well adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead fix your attention on God." (Rom 12)

The journey out of daily hunger and self-cannibalism is not going to be the quick fix of an instant meal of what I do, what others think I am, or what I have. Under a culture that consumes us, we will constantly live under the temptation of the world of the false self as an answer to knowing the real me. Cultural values that surround us leads to a constant hunger to know the real me.

The true journey to know me is found in a life of centering in God because our true identity is found only in him. By means of silence and solitude we journey into ourselves.

It is only there our hunger can be satisfied.

That is counter-cultural...that is the Godlife.

The Matrix

Morpheus calmly sat in front of Neo explaining his choice: choose to swallow the blue pill and he will return to his life as he knows it or take a red pill which will open up his senses to the realities of his true life. In actuality his real life was only a perceived "matrix" while the unperceived reality was truth. He was a victim of the matrix, a simulated reality created by sentient machines to control the real world.

A curious thought - what if the world we live every day is actually such a matrix - a simulated reality created by ourselves to hold up a self-referenced individual starving for recognition? Even more so, what if our religious world is so veneered that we have lost touch with the reality of the master?

The churches I grew up in helped to create this matrix. Their list of dos and don'ts was an endless attempt to create a world built on the mirage of religiosity that was controlled by the man-made system. Those with the "power" to detach from negative practices and behaviors assume titles of "spiritual" proudly carried about with badges of honor. They grasp their new role tightly as if their hold determines their holiness. The slippery slope of spiritual leadership is built upon fear of failure and upholding an image recognized by others as spiritual success. Such self-generated lists of dos and don'ts, and such self-referenced efforts to be holy, are doomed to failure because, as Paul indicates, "they are merely human rules and teachings." The result is a matrix community in which we are afraid for others to see us as we really are. We have grown accustomed to playing church games and look at each other as spiritual competitors.

The church matrix is all about detachment which ultimately leads to a community of false selves. It has become so much the norm that we deem this simulated reality as true reality.We interact and worship together wearing this false skin so that others will accept us. We live in a simulated spirituality under girded by the fear of being discovered for who we really are. Our religious false self wants to keep our "God" in the box of our control.

The truth of the spiritual life is not associated with detachment or our control at all. It is all about attachment to God himself.

We need to take the red pill of "his genuine loving presence" in order to be released from this binding matrix of religious simulation. Centering my life in him helps me see past the religious matrix of rules and methods into a world built on the freedom of true love and acceptance...a world in which I can truly be me.

This is what Paul meant when he said, "don't become so well- adjusted to your (church religious) culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead fix your attention on God (centering). You'll be changed from the inside out (see through the matrix)." Romans 12 The Message