Signs

"You have to ask yourself what kind of person are you. Are you the kind that sees signs, sees miracles...or do you believe that people just get lucky. Is it possible that there are no coincidences?"

Former Episcopal priest, Graham Hess had lost his faith in God through the tragic death of his wife. His family was dealing with a number of personal issues and life seemed to be hitting a wall. Then to make matters worse, the crop signs appeared.

The the film, Signs, from M. Night Shyamalan in 2002, seems to focus on invading aliens and their attempt to invade planet earth to harvest humans for food. Sounds like your typical sci-fi film right? But actually this movie centers around Graham and his faith that there is a God and that God personally has his hands on even the most inconsequential of our lives.

The same tension enters into our own daily journey as well. We don't need aliens to push us to the brink of our beliefs, but we do have layoffs, cancer, bill collectors, hurricanes, and divorce. In the midst of it all we begin to wonder if life is all about luck and coincidence. Where are the signs that God cares for ME?

On the surface, Graham's life was overrun with what seemed like inconsequential problems. He lived on his farm in Pennsylvania with his two children and brother: His son, Rory, who suffers from asthma, his daughter Bo who has a fetish about drinking only partial glasses of water, and his brother Merrill who is a former minor league baseball player. He holds the record for the longest home run ever in the minor leagues and hangs the cherished bat in a place of honor in the living room of his brother's house. And then there is Graham who suffers from doubt and hatred toward a God that took his wife away. Graham talked to his wife when she tragically died after being hit by a car. Just before she died she tells Merrill to "Swing away." Each of these circumstances seem unrelated and problematic in their own way. They do not make any sense. They each are mysteries that feed a coincidental and skeptical worldview.

Yet in the film's final dramatic conclusion each one of these prove significant in a confrontation with an alien in their house. Each sign plays a part in defeating the alien who is about to kill Morgan with poisonous gas (see the clip from You Tube below).

I am always intrigued with science fiction movies that have suspense and subplots that matter. As one of my favorites, Signs asks the same questions to us today as we daily face living the Godlife. Is God really involved in my life? What are the signs of his touch? Where are you God?

Awareness is developing a keen sensitivity to the fact that God is with us at all times. When we are looking for them, the signs of his touch are unmistakable. We may view challenges and disasters and struggles with questioning and doubt. But when we look closer, every half glass of water, asthma attack, car accident, and forgotten award mean something because God uses it all in the shaping of our personhood. While we may not always understand the meaning or how it all fits, God still wants us to trust him even when the signs are a mystery.

"In God's reign everything belongs" (Rohr, 2003).

There are no coincidences.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qY_LBAVWRMU

Daddy God

We rambled through airport security and eventually found ourselves sitting in the passenger section. As we looked at each other, the realization of our hopes and dreams was about to come true. Julie and I were on our way to Southern California to visit our son and his wife and our new granddaughter Isabella.

Our trip was a quick weekend filled with numerous fun activity and visits with Brittany's wonderful family. We had not seen our son and his wife for at least a couple of years since before his last Iraq deployment, so to just be together again was so invigorating for our hearts.

But the highlight of our weekend escape was little Isabella. What a precious gift to hold her, play with her, change her, feed her, bathe her, and carry her. This was our granddaughter and she was so precious and full of personality. One thing was apparent...she knew her Daddy well and felt right at home in his large Marine arms.

As I held that little child in my arms I couldn't help but ponder about how God as my "Daddy God" loves it when I am a child in His presence. As little Bella is right at home in the security of her Daddy's love, she is uninhibited about her feelings. There is no editing going on before her Daddy - when she wants something she expresses her feelings without thinking. I know...I witnessed it first hand! She is secure and knows Daddy cares and accepts her as she is, wet diaper, drool and anything else that leaks. Such openness before her Daddy is the desire of God for everyone of His children.

Brennan Manning writes that "emotions are our most direct experience of where we are in the moment." Yet when we grow older as Christians we become that "mature spiritual adult" who learns to edit before others and God. We spiritualize and hide as if we don't believe Daddy's promise to love us and hold us and take care of us. Little Bella sees her world through her father's eyes with a simplicity built upon absolute trust in her Daddy.

The Bible compares belief and the receiving of salvation as the faith of a little child. The same holds true in living the Godlife. When we recognize that God is everything and we are nothing but a little one that trusts and relies upon our Daddy, we stop becoming anxious and trying to be a controlling adult that works hard at maintaining masks of perception before others. We live by His promise of love and acceptance for who we really are, drool and all.

By the way, Isabella's name means, "God's promise." And her middle name of Elizabeth?

It also means "God's promise."

Today, I'm going to just sit in Daddy God's lap and enjoy a double dose of "God's promise."

Paganini and One String!

Words can never adequately convey the incredible impact of our attitude toward life. The longer I live the more convinced I become that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I respond to it.

When we confuse those numbers and switch the roles our lives are then turned into meaningless victims played at the whim of the fates. Such thinking is negative leading to despair and a dark side that covers our thinking like a thick blanket. A positive attitude is a choice but that choice must originate from a will that has been baptized in the experiential love of God. When I have truly grasped the truth that I am Abba's child and that He loves me in spite of all the false pretenses I tend to put up, then this reality show of life takes on a new perspective.

"If anyone be in Christ...a new creation!" (2 Cor. 5:17). My attitude is affected. All of life seems like a new creation because I see things more clearly from His perspective and His awareness. My life perspective changes...my attitude choices take on a new anchor. That anchor is not in my own gumption or fortitude but centered in the Rock Himself as my foundation. Awareness of His presence immerses my attitude with a Godly perspective that is addictive.

The result is an attitude of fortitude that infects those around us.

One of my favorite stories is told by Chuck Swindoll:

The colorful, nineteenth century showman and gifted violinist Nicolo Paganini was standing before a packed house, playing through a difficult piece of music. A full orchestra surrounded him with magnificent support. Suddenly one string on his violin snapped and hung gloriously down from his instrument. Beads of perspiration popped out on his forehead. He frowned but continued to play, improvising beautifully.

To the conductor's surprise, a second string broke. And shortly thereafter, a third. Now there were three limp strings dangling from Paganini's violin as the master performer completed the difficult composition on the one remaining string. The audience jumped to its feet and in good Italian fashion, filled the hall with shouts and screams, "Bravo! Bravo!" As the applause died down, the violinist asked the people to sit back down. Even though they knew there was no way they could expect an encore, they quietly sank back into their seats.

He held the violin high for everyone to see. He nodded at the conductor to begin the encore and then he turned back to the crowd, and with a twinkle in his eye, he smiled and shouted, "Paganini...and one string!" After that he placed the single-stringed Stradivarius beneath his chin and played the final piece on ONE string as the audience (and the conductor) shook their heads in silent amazement. "Paganini...and one string!" And I might add, an attitude of fortitude.

In a sense our lives are like a great concert in which the Master violinist plays a beautiful masterpiece with our story. We see nothing but one measly string...He sees a concerto for the ages. We see fear...He sees hope. Knowing that such love and acceptance for me and my one string are overwhelming and hard to fathom, God runs alongside me as my Master-coach with the encouragement to prop me up with His positive presence within the overwhelming negativity and storms of life.

Such positive thoughts permeate my thoughts to see a new creation with a new attitude.

God...and one string - me!

Lord of the Rings

Two rings. Each ring appears fairly similar in its visual presentation. The smooth round metal is simple and unobtrusive. One is silver and the other gold. while the silver ring is approaching 65 years of existence, the other lags behind but is no rookie at 29 years old. Each one has an original purpose to signify a marital contract of fidelity, commitment, and love.

The first ring my wife Julie gave to me 29 years ago in June. Although I've had it resized because of my "growing" finger girth, the ring remains perfectly intact. On the inside it reads, "JB to JZ June 26, 1981." That significant date was the time and moment Julie and I became one in marriage on a hot steamy day in Redding, California. The other ring is just as simple. There are no inscriptions on the inside but instead the memories of a wartime marriage of my mother and father in England, June 8, 1945 linger on. In a world at that time consumed by fear and war, love prevailed. I lost my father 15 years ago and recently my mother gave me his ring. I had it resized last year and now wear it on the pinkie finger of my right hand.

Two rings. One on my left hand marital finger and the other on my right hand pinkie finger.

Several days ago while sitting quietly before God, He impressed upon me a thought that has captivated me since. My father's ring has a another deeper meaning. Over the last several years God has taken me on a journey of the discovery of His daily presence in my life. Moment by moment he is always there with me. I am never alone and His fingerprints of work have been noticed and highlighted by the practice of awareness. What He showed me in that quiet time of solitude was a symbol of His presence - my dad's ring.

While the marital ring symbolizes the presence and commitment of my relationship to Julie, the ring from my father symbolizes the presence and commitment to my heavenly Father. By wearing the ring each and every day, I have a visual reminder of God's walk with me in life. Each day I have been wearing the ring from my dad I am reminded to be aware of what God is doing and His commitment to me.

"I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5
"I have loved you with an everlasting love." Jeremiah 31:3

He is Lord of my earthly marital relationship and He is Lord over my heavenly relationship.

He IS Lord of the rings.

Recipes, Coupons, and Chicken

I gathered all my tools to have at hand nearby: Pen, paper, 100 Best Chicken Recipes book, and coupons that were cut out and organized in a coupon folder. The process seemed simple - to put together a grocery list based upon a planned menu. Julie looks over at me and laughed, "Who is this guy?" It's hard to believe but because of Julie working many hours, I have learned to cut out coupons, purchase the food, and many times plan and make the meals.

The process is simply based upon a perceived plan of what meals we want to eat and then buying the necessary ingredients. This week: Black bean enchilada chicken, Chicken asparagus casserole, Chicken and rice bake, etc. (OK, so we like chicken). As I was reading the list of ingredients I needed I had to run a few things by Julie, "What is cilantro?" and "Do we have any cumin?" She just looks at me and says, "Who is this guy?"

This morning as sat before God in prayer I found myself planning meals again. Coming before God I have already decided what my life should look like. "This are the recipes I think my life should have, God." Then I read the laundry list of necessary ingredients I believe are necessary in order to accomplish those end results. Then because MY recipes seem sort of challenging, I device short cuts to save time and money and pain. So I hand God my coupons to "save" on the possible sacrifices necessary to achieve my plans and goals. "I've got it all worked out God, bless my plan."

God sits there and patiently listens and says, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7)

At first His words seemed like the perfect ticket for me to go on planning my life menu...all I have to do is ask and He will make my plans happen. Sounds like the perfect recipe! Then I realize that the asking and seeking He was talking about was not what I thought all along. He was addressing the "meat" of the recipe, the heart, the core of prayer and the foundation of life - seeking after Him. So many days I brought my list of life wants to him - a pastorate, financial security, health, a teaching position - all ingredients in my recipe of life happiness. "If only I had these ingredients, my life would be wonderful..."

Yet alll He wanted was for me to seek Him. "Asking, seeking, and knocking" had to do with seeking God Himself in prayer not MY recipes and MY coupons.

How easily I get sidetracked.

I guess it's time to put my 100 Best Chicken Recipes in his hands and to trust Him with my life. It's time to ask Him for an awareness of His presence and let Him take care of the planning, the recipes, and the coupons. It's time to rest in the Great Chef...after all, God does make great chicken!

Meanwhile Julie is STILL looking at me and saying, "Who IS this guy?"

A New Creation!

Ah, the wonder of Spring! With the appearance of the sun in the Pacific northwest, there arrives warmth that feels good on your skin. The coats come off and you gaze up into the clouds, swallow the sunshine and then its beams force a smile to glow on your face. I loved Spring when my dad was still alive because it signaled the new beginning of nicer weather to go golfing together. Standing on the first tee, all you can hear were birds singing a new song mixed with the smell of freshly cut grass. Framing the first hole were freshly flowered trees and bright misty morning shadows. I would take a deep breath to fill my lungs with the fresh clean air of morning newness. All together they made up a bouquet of Spring feelings that I had waited all winter for!

It was a new creation all over again!

Here is how God is encountered in the immediacy of life. Many times we meet God in those special "aha" moments like the one I experienced several years ago at Cannon Beach. But the beauty of living the Godlife is that every moment in life can be that "aha" moment all over again. Paul said in 2 Corinthians 5, "If anyone is in Christ...a new creation!" Most people mistranslate what Paul is really saying here by saying, "If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation." What Paul is really talking about is that when we first encounter Christ (that first big "aha" moment) or when we see that flash of the mystery of God's fingerprints on the now moments of life (that ongoing "aha" moment) all of creation takes on a new life. When we are aware of God every moment of every day, the world is a new creation. We see God, His presence, and His work everywhere. When we initially become followers of Christ we are "in Christ." But living the daily mystery of "in Christ" requires keen eyes and a Springtime awareness that only comes from practicing His presence.

It's like Springtime all over again!

History Lesson

"The certainty of history seems to be in direct inverse ratio to what we know about it." Anonymous

Lately I've spent some time musing through old photographs of my family. I can still remember that Easter day when my mother took our picture in front of our house all dressed up and ready for church (that's me on the left squinting!). Each picture I held of my son and daughter as infants or kids growing up tends to immerse me in dates and events, in persons and in circumstances - in my own personal history (that's Julie holding our Marine son, Jeffry, as a baby). I struggle to recall the details of those "good old days" but that's where the family historian steps in - Julie. She has a gift for remembering what someone wore to a particular event. I can't even remember the event!

We tend to look at our personal histories through the eyes of regret and what if's. I wish I would have done this here or there. What if I had done this instead of that. We recall historical events both national, local, or family, that affected us in some way. What gets lost in the mix of the "certainty of history" is the inverse ratio of the presence of God. God met Julie and I in the ordinary and extraordinary occurrences that made up the stuff of our daily lives. The history of our 31 years we've known each other is the medium in which God worked, just as paint and canvas is the medium in which Rembrandt made created works of art. We cannot get closer to God by distancing ourselves from the perceived messes of our personal history. They are all part of his presence we sometimes forget.

We have so many stories to tell. Each one is a tribute that there is no such thing as secular history in our lives. None. Everything that happened, happened in a personal world penetrated by God. Our stories may not always include God so it is sometimes easy to forget that God is always the invisible and mostly silent presence in everything that took place. God is never absent from these stories and never peripheral to them. In fact to pay attention to these people and events in our past was to recognize a higher purpose to stay alert to God in the now.

We tend to develop the mindset of our cultural historians who would view our past with a God as not involved or present. We tend to tell stories through politics and economics, human interest, and societal conditions. Where were you when JFK was shot? Do you remember the great blizzard of 1978? What was your reaction to 9-11? Then if we have a mind for it, we go ahead and conveniently fit God in somewhere or other.

The truth is, that history teaches us everything including the future.

And that lesson is that God is here, past, present, and future.

Can you see His fingerprints?

Ode to David

I woke up this morning and found myself in an undesirable place. My first impression was to be overwhelmed by the darkness of the black hole I stood in the midst of. The blackness waved over me like a thick blanket without an end. My hands and my fingers seemed to just mesh into the black as if they weren't even there. My eyes were wide open but my sight seemed constricted and shut. I can't see anything.

The air seemed cold and damp so I felt my way to a cold ledge to rest upon and ponder my fate. I was afraid. There were noises but in quick time I discerned they were nothing but drops of water falling from the ceiling and hitting the floor. I felt all alone. With a quivering voice I cried out, "Is there anyone there?"

Silence in the cave.

After months (that have rolled into years) of seeking light in a life that I was called to be, I have now found myself living in a dark hole of a calling unfulfilled. I've been cast off, forgotten, and rejected. Even the one who called me to walk in the light of service has left me to be alone in black silence. After hundreds of rejections that have piled up to close the cave entry way, I can feel my hope disappearing into the damp and dingy. No progress, no direction, no hope. Failure is outside the cave seeking for me...prowling to devour... so I hide in the depths of the darkness. This is certainly not the place I expected to be when he called me to serve him full time 28 years ago.

Alone...in the dark...playing the waiting game.

I dreamed of being in that wonderful place again...outside in the light...where I would be able to finally serve out of my passion, gifts, and my calling...to leave this dingy cave and be busy again. After all, that is was I was meant to be and do. Then I bowed my head and faced the reality again of my present...the lonely cave when I am now. Dark, dingy, alone, without a purpose on a path that I fear will never end. Alone with me... in a black hole.

I cried out again, "Someone, help me get out of here!"

Again, silence.

Suddenly I felt a presence of another. I could not understand it or explain it. I reached out but couldn't feel anyone or see anything. Yet, I felt the presence of something real...no, I knew someone was there. I felt moved not to speak but to just sit and enjoy that presence. Somehow I just knew that whoever was there cared and loved me even in my fear and insecurity. He loved me for who I was and where I was. As I pondered him, I realized that he was the same one who called me decades ago.

My fears then dissipated into the blackness.

In the midst of the darkness, the demise of my cave peril...my dark situation... took on a new perspective. He is still here with me. He hasn't forgotten or dropped me. He still has a plan for me. Somehow there was meaning again.

I was meant to be here for just this purpose....to wait...to just be me... to just be with him.

In my quietness, I faintly smiled.


"You're my cave to hide in...I want to hide in you. I've put my life in your hands. You won't drop me; you'll never let me down." (David while hiding in a cave) Psalm 31, The Message

Be Thou My Vision

Yesterday was the official first Sunday of 2010, so I found myself worshipping in church with many like minded believers. One of the songs used as a vehicle to sing to God was the hymn prayer of "Be Thou My Vision." The words had such an impact on me...it was if my heart's desires were expressed in a lyrical prayer of devotion and personal commitment.

As we sang, the verses offered me a singular voice of fierce devotion (though rooted in 8th century medieval Celtic Christianity) that is still relevant today. These were words chanted by monks, versed by Eleanor Hull and put to an Irish lyrical tune over 100 years ago...yet they connected with me in 2010!

The song created a clear focus for me as I began a new year - Be Thou My Vision. My desire is to God-see...to see my life and other lives, my challenges and my victories, my disappointments and my sorrows, through His eyes. In 2010, I want to learn to keep company with God and learn how to live a life of love. The focus is clear - see all of life with God-glasses. Seeing with His vision requires practicing being with Him daily, recognizing His presence, and being willing to join in on what He is doing. This life of "vision" clears away the clouds of fear and insecurity for a God-reality full of bright freedom and love.

This hymn is my prayer for 2010.

Meditate on these words and read them slowly...they could be your prayer as well:

Be thou my vision, O lord of my heart,
be all else but naught to me, save that thou art;
be thou my best thought in the day and the night,
both waking and sleeping, thy presence my light.

By thou my wisdom, be thou my true word,
be thou ever with me and I with thee Lord;
be thou my great Father, and I thy true son;
be thou in me dwelling, and I with thee one.

Be thou my breastplate, my sword for the fight;
be thou my whole armor, be thou my true might;
be thou my soul's shelter, be thou my strong tower;
O raise thou me heavenward, great Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man's empty praise;
be thou mine inheritance now and always;
be thou and thou only the first in my heart;
O Sovereign of heaven, my treasure thou art.

High King of heaven, thou heaven's bright sun,
O grant me its joys after victory is won;
great Heart of my own heart, whatever befall;
still be thou my vision, O Ruler of all.

The Matrix

Morpheus calmly sat in front of Neo explaining his choice: choose to swallow the blue pill and he will return to his life as he knows it or take a red pill which will open up his senses to the realities of his true life. In actuality his real life was only a perceived "matrix" while the unperceived reality was truth. He was a victim of the matrix, a simulated reality created by sentient machines to control the real world.

A curious thought - what if the world we live every day is actually such a matrix - a simulated reality created by ourselves to hold up a self-referenced individual starving for recognition? Even more so, what if our religious world is so veneered that we have lost touch with the reality of the master?

The churches I grew up in helped to create this matrix. Their list of dos and don'ts was an endless attempt to create a world built on the mirage of religiosity that was controlled by the man-made system. Those with the "power" to detach from negative practices and behaviors assume titles of "spiritual" proudly carried about with badges of honor. They grasp their new role tightly as if their hold determines their holiness. The slippery slope of spiritual leadership is built upon fear of failure and upholding an image recognized by others as spiritual success. Such self-generated lists of dos and don'ts, and such self-referenced efforts to be holy, are doomed to failure because, as Paul indicates, "they are merely human rules and teachings." The result is a matrix community in which we are afraid for others to see us as we really are. We have grown accustomed to playing church games and look at each other as spiritual competitors.

The church matrix is all about detachment which ultimately leads to a community of false selves. It has become so much the norm that we deem this simulated reality as true reality.We interact and worship together wearing this false skin so that others will accept us. We live in a simulated spirituality under girded by the fear of being discovered for who we really are. Our religious false self wants to keep our "God" in the box of our control.

The truth of the spiritual life is not associated with detachment or our control at all. It is all about attachment to God himself.

We need to take the red pill of "his genuine loving presence" in order to be released from this binding matrix of religious simulation. Centering my life in him helps me see past the religious matrix of rules and methods into a world built on the freedom of true love and acceptance...a world in which I can truly be me.

This is what Paul meant when he said, "don't become so well- adjusted to your (church religious) culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead fix your attention on God (centering). You'll be changed from the inside out (see through the matrix)." Romans 12 The Message

Making Hinges Work

One of the blessings of my journey of unemployment over the last four months has been the time available to finish projects that I have neglected for years. For example take all those unfinished cupboards that my wife and I have collected over the last 10-15 years. They stood as monuments to my busyness and filled lifestyle. I've slowly been making up for that over these months. So far I have completed seven pieces that have produced a complete house of new furniture without the expense of buying new ones. Yea!

One of the many challenges I've faced with this "finishing project" has been the problem of hinges. I've discovered that hinges once taken off do not always necessarily fit back on the completed piece in a way in which the door fits. After several "challenges" I decided to mark each hinge as to where it went so I could get my doors to fit as they were meant. (My mother didn't raise any stupid children!).

I discovered that those hinges are vital to the proper fit of a door. For example, if it is off just a little, the door will not properly shut causing all kinds of other problems. The hinge pin is vital to the outside attachment fitting with the inside attachment. If is bent even just a little the whole setup doesn't go together (I know by experience!).

I've often pondered about my life in the same regard. Lately I seem to spend so much time thinking about the past and the future that my present gets lost in the mix. My past is filled with lots of victories, struggles, and perceived failures that seem to follow me like a pesty dog. My future seems so uncertain that I tend to dwell in the valley of worry and wonder where this journey is going to end up. I spend day after day planning for a future job, seeking possible ministry positions and strategizing. I take the hinge off, try to make sense of it logically, and then can't get it to fit back on right. Meanwhile the importance of the hinge pin of my present becomes insignificant and ignored.

That hinge pin of today is simply connecting with God and what He is doing in my now. That hinge pin is crucial because its what holds together the past and the future into a unique continuity of God's work. It helps to make the door and the cabinet fit together perfectly as it was meant to fit. When I walk with Him in the now as my focus I become so much more aware of what is really important about living. I lay aside my logic and control patterns and just enjoy being with Him. I let go of fears and past baggage and just enjoy being His creation. That means also walking with Him through the pains of today as well as the victoires.

My walk with the Master Cabinet Maker TODAY is the hinge pin that connects my yesterday and tomorrow. In that walk I can experience trust and peace by practicing moment-by-moment God awareness.

"Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now..." (Matthew 7:12 The Message)

Contentment 101

This morning I am sitting in a classroom ready to be schooled by my personal teacher. No, I'm not at the University of Washington or Seattle Pacific University or Washington State...but I am in school! When I graduated from George Fox last May I thought that possibly those days were over...that the years of papers, and exams, and reading required books were a thing of the past. And yet this morning once again I am back in school....the school of doing life.

You see, my life is a classroom setting with one basic subject and one Master teacher. In fact I have found Him giving me daily lessons complete with tough exams and poignant evaluations. So here I am in school again today ready to face a tough teacher and an even tougher self.

The classroom curriculum...Contentment 101...the Master teacher...God Himself.

Paul wrote in his letter to Philippi that he had "learned to be content whatever the circumstances." So today I have done some gut checks on my learning curve by asking tough questions like a good student:

Is God Himself enough for me in the now of my life?
Are His current provisions enough?
Am I postponing my joy and contentment until I obtain a future ministry job?
Will job security give me that contentment and joy?

Tough questions but then again Paul said that contentment is a learned process. In fact I can live a godly life and not be content (check out 1 Timothy 6:6). I can be busy with ministry and godly living as a replacement for God Himself. The same question returns...is God truly enough?

The learning curve is simple...contentment is the art of adjusting to life's daily ups and downs with my attitude. And attitude is adjusting the volume of what I hear from God in life and the focus of what I see Him doing in a daily awareness of his fingerprints on my personal circumstances. So when Paul said "I can do all things through him that strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13), he's not talking about a universal promise that I can do anything I want or desire and then He will give me the power to do so. For example, I CAN get back in full time ministry because He promises to rubber stamp it will His strength.

Instead He's talking about doing a life of contentment (living life with that attitude) because of a reliance on God's strengthening presence. I CAN do life with contentment because of His presence and care. That includes contentment with unemployment and financial insecurity and job rejections and getting older (56 in December)...and the Detroit Lions losing! Wow...what a tough class!

So if you will excuse me, I have to get back to the books again of Contentment 101. I still have SO much to learn.

Singing in the Rain

Seattle is famous for Pike's Market, the Space Needle, Microsoft, the green forests, Mount Rainier and of course, the rain. When the rains come, like they have recently, the emotions kick in. I remember several years ago when it rained here for 40 straight days. Just when I had my ark half built it finally stopped!

Recently they have returned and I find myself feeling emotionally depressed and tired quite frequently. When coupled with my uphill battle to find work there are many times during these days that I just get plain tired of it all. Life feels heavy. Six years of a journey back to full time ministry has left me spent both physically and emotionally.

So again, today I return to the one ray of sunshine I can count on, with yet another rainy day.

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me...Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly. (Matthew 11, The Message)

The rhythms of rain pounding outside my window are actually there to remind me of God's grace sprinkling on my weary soul. They are a reminder to rest in Him and not not my abilities to make things happen. That rest comes from walking with Jesus in a Godlife that is centered and practiced in letting go. My Godlife "God-senses" in the now and rests in a life-practice that is free from the chains of worry and control. He is keeping company with me in the rain. It's only there that I can recover my life and my joy.

So today, I'll be singing in the rain.

Dada, da, da...dada, da, da, da, da...

A Prayer of Protection and Awareness

The old tradition has it, that Saint Patrick and his companion missionaries were to travel to the court of King Laoghhaire. Along the way, waiting in ambush, were druid or druid henchmen who intended to attack and kill Saint Patrick and all his followers. As Patrick and his companions walked, they chanted the Lorica. When they passed the would-be attackers, they appeared as a doe and twenty fawns - hence the title, "Lorica - The Cry of the Deer". This is an abbreviated version that is quoted quite often in the morning as a prayer of protection and awareness:

I arise today through God's strength to pilot me:

God's might to uphold me,

God's wisdom to guide me,

God's eye to look before me

God's ear to hear me,

God's word to speak for me,

God's hand to guard me.

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,

Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,

Christ on my right, Christ on my left,

Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down, Christ when I arise.

Christ in the heart of every one who thinks of me.

Christ in the mouth of every one who speaks of me,

Christ in every eye that sees me,

Christ in every ear that hears me.

I arise today

Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the Trinity.

Claim your relationship with the Trinity today through awareness and God-sensing. He is always present. He will never leave your side.

Now is the Time

What then is time? If no one asks me, I know what it is. If I wish to explain it to him who asks, I do not know. ~Saint Augustine

Time has been on my mind this week. How do you define time when even Augustine can't explain it? I can't wrap my arms around it or put it in a box. Oh I might think I have it controlled on my watch or wall clock or cell phone but not really. Time is not contained in such man made things. Time seems to rule my life: I set up appointments; I drive according to the speed limit (most of the time) of miles per hour; I plan for a wedding a week from Saturday; School is set up in quarter or semesters of yearly time; We celebrate the coming of a new year January 1st; My son's 27th birthday is next Saturday; We read Time Magazine; I lost three hours of time on my flight to Toledo (how do you lose 3 hours...where does it go?); movies like The Time Travelers Wife intrigue our curiosity to travel through time; and the sun come up this morning to start a new day as God's masterclock.

We are controlled, pressured and consumed by time.

I can't see time itself but I can see the effects of time. When I traveled back to Toledo to visit my mother this week everything looks different. Over the last month people I've known for years and years have entered my life once again and I'm amazed how different they look. We tend to think of old friends the way they were and forget all that has transpired in their lives to change them. One friend of mine had married and produced a family of five children since I last talked with him...where did all the time go? Of course, I don't feel any different but time has also taken it's toll on me as well. All I have to do is look into the mirror and I see the effects of time - some good, some not so good!

Why is it that we spend so much "time" remembering the past and planning and hoping for the future that the present dissapates from our reality? Patrick Swayze died yesterday as a 57 year old still young in years ( at least I think so). More than ever I'm convinced that life is a blip and the decades that seem like eternity when I was a kid speed by faster than a freight train nowadays. We miss out on so much caught up in the speed between the past and future.

Live like a child or saint in the immediacy of the here and now. Anne Morrow Lindbergh's words should be a prompt reminder not to focus so much on the past and future of time because if we do we will miss out on all the wonders of the now. As a child living in the now we are ever expecting and excited...as a saint we live through the pain, hurt and despair.

And it's in the now that God is working in our lives both as child and saint.

Now is the "time"...look for Him.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

A rainbow has symbolically represented a bright hope for a future that good things are yet to come. When we stepped our by faith to make a major move some 2500 miles from Ohio to Washington we observed in the state of Montana a huge rainbow that filled the big sky country. God was saying, "There's a hope for a new life in Washington for you."

Yesterday we received our first rain in quite a bit of time in Sumner...it poured at times with a heavy downfall. Near the end of the day the rain subsided and again God revealed a gorgeous rainbow back lit against the dark clouds and illuminated by a sun highlighting its vivid colors. In fact it was accentuated by yet another rainbow that mirrored the first...sort of an exclamation point.

A funny thing about rainbows - no matter where you walk the rainbow is a visual experience that is centered on where you are standing. In other words that's why you can never find where a rainbow ends or begins...it's as if God created that rainbow just for YOUR eyes centered on YOU. This particular rainbow separated the sky in it's backdrop color by created a tunnel affect. It was actually positioned perfectly in a half circle above my house with a reminder of hope for the now and the now yet to come.

I stood watching the rainbow and realized that God was putting his masterpiece in the sky to show me that His presence and guidance for my daily life is ever present whether I see the rainbow or not. In the midst of stormy and difficult times, He has promised His presence. As it was with a promise to Noah, God has promised to color my present and my future with His steady walk WITH me in the rain. I saw this as my personal rainbow God painted for ME as the Master Creator who is still creating masterfully in my life.

He colors my rainy world with Himself.

A Thinking Parable

Here is the parable of two men:

Both men recently lost their jobs and began an unsettling time of job searching in a downsize economy. In an uncanny fashion they paralleled one another in their fervor to search all opportunities for work. Phone calls were made, resumes sent out, research done, and appointments with key persons conducted. Hours were spent online researching teaching opportunities at schools and pastor openings (amazingly these were the interests of both). Weeks go by and the hard work and diligence of each man was noticeable but with few results.

They both were very much alike in their actions but differed greatly in one area: Their thinking.

The one man was driven to work long hours because of fear - fear of failure, fear of being discovered as a nobody, fear of being known as a person who had an empty and futile life anchored in status and accomplishment. He was consumed with himself and his own status. He was worried about the future and what would happen to his family.

He was a deficit thinker.

The second man anchored his search in a relationship with God that began each day with solitude and centered throughout the day on awareness. He saw God in each "rejection" and His hand on each appointment. God was at work in proving His presence and care in every step of the journey. His life was one of being at rest... of seeking ways to serve others. He was full of drive but not driven. He was enjoying this special time of trust and faith because he saw God even in the liminal places of life.

He was an abundance thinker.

Two men both facing the same obstacles with the same fervor...but both completely different in their thinking. The abundance thinker had a totally different mindset because he saw himself from God's perspective. The only limits he had were the limits on him to help him grow in faith and glorify Him.

The thinking factor that made the difference? A growing relationship with a real God that transcended books and ideas and permeated thoughts and life. It's relating to a God holding a hand through good and bad times to color perspective on the larger scope of living. It's seeing God's fingerprints on the now. The fears still linger but the largeness of God is growing.

My parable is a real life story...I choose abundance and the peace of trust.

Let My Life Speak

If my calling is "the place where my deep gladness meets the world's deep need" (Frederich Buechner), then what work brings me great joy? If that is true then a calling is something I discover not something I choose.

Yesterday was a haunting day for me. As the process of my discovered calling continues while searching for the right place of ministry, I faced old demons that whispered in my ears all day long, "you're a failure"..."look at your friends, see how successful they are"..."nobody wants you the way you are"..."Is God really going to come through for you?".."you are stuck in oblivion."

The temptation to quit and crawl into the failure cave was very real and present. But discovering my gladness often means the gritty resolution to bear with a hard task when it would be easier to quit. I have to be ruthlessly honest about my deep gladness that it is not dependent on what God has done in other people's lives but stayed upon listening to what God is doing in MY life now. Expectations and comparisons must be pushed aside in order to let my life speak...and that requires listening. My calling is not so much choosing as it is listening. When I listen more intently to the demons than God, I am condemned to live in chronic, low grade anxiety that whispers to me that I am trying to be someone I'm not. The passion and the deep gladness dissipate into the thin air of expectation and comparison.

He speaks every day to me that I am His and He has plans for me. Which "speak" will I listen to the most? Letting my life speak lies in choosing awareness developed from daily practicing God-sensing and people-loving instead of choosing the anxiety of expectation-sensing and status-loving.

Speak today Lord, for your servant is listening.

The Breath of Living

The Hebrew imagery in the Bible is that I was created out of the breath of God. There is something very intimate about one's breath. Each day when I breath in and out I am reminded that my life is a gift exhaled by the Creator. This is central to the human existance - humanity is all about breathing in life. When I stop breathing, I stop living. When my face is next to my wife's and we are so close I can feel her breath, the intimacy of those moments underscore the love of relationship we have. God is breathing on me daily with a new life to live in a closeness of relationship that underscores my specialness and uniqueness to Him. That makes being me even more special because my life is a gift from God to others.

There are always those tough days when I don't like myself or my life. It's on those days I think God had bad breath when He breathed on my worthless existence!

Yet, instead I ponder that God is breathing on ME today...I will CHOOSE to drink in each breath with the joy of living...I will CLAIM the wonders of being human...being me!

Being Stayed

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." (Isaiah 26:3). The key to a perfect peace in the midst of turbulent times is the staying mind. It's a mind that is super-glued to thoughts of trust and belief in the closeness of God and His power and control. Many days I choose to be stayed yet when I sense God's absence or lack of control (as I perceive it) the bond breaks. When that happens anxiety and fear become my stay and perfect peace is only a shadow fanthom instead of a reality. The superbond is rooted in my experience of the reality of God and His love for me. Do I really believe He is there with me during the disaster sales week or the silence in my ministry search? The real truth is that He is still there. My stay is to be glued to that thought in a belief that supercedes my emotions. I live close by Mount Ranier which dominates the sky in all its majesty. Yet there are some days of cloudiness or fog in which you would never even know it existed. The fog of my doubt cloudies my belief in a God who is there for me. Being stayed begins with an anchor of belief that can only come from solitude and awareness. That relationship that arises out of the fog is true and real. The mountain still stands even when my unbelief gives me tunnel vision. It's time to start trusting in a God who is there.