The Main Thing

All my life my attitude toward God, the church, and religion in general has been apparently distorted. After 56 years of "religious" service, I've realized that everything spiritual in my life has had to pass through a doing stage in order to give me the kickback I so much have desired...that of feeling accepted by God as "spiritual." In the process, my doing had become the focus and laid the foundation of my perceptions of who and what is religious verses what is not religious. I've lived my life on the circumference doing the old "rope-a-dope" with God. I do...I feel better because God likes me...then as a result I must be spiritual.

I'm not just talking about going to church or teaching a class or participating on visitation or even mouthing my prayers both private and public. Those circumference activities have greatly clouded the main thing. In fact, the main thing has many times been lost and set on the shelf along with many books I have collected but never read.

Doing the same old mundane becomes dull and boring, so on the circumference I'm always looking for the next great "doing" spiritual activity. Then as that becomes the main thing, I again become uninterested and in cyclical fashion go round and round on the edge of the circle of life still dissatisfied.

I have found even in my relationship with God that the spiritual disciplines can so easily become the main thing. I read the Bible according to my daily schedule; Pray to Him unraveling my laundry list of wants and needs; Practicing the liturgy of the Daily Office at a set schedule; and sing about Him in worship to lift my own spirits. Meanwhile God sits in the chair nearby as a spectator.

Daily I pray for my needs for a job and then go out and work hard at my doing with the hopes of accomplishing the task at hand. I then pray God's blessings on my efforts. He continues to sit by patiently.

I have become the central focus and the main thing through my disciplines and piety. I am looking for help for me which is not the "real" main thing. He waits calmly nearby.

Jeremiah had a different approach:

"I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore, I will wait for him." Lam. 3:24

There it is in one short snapshot of reality...God is my portion...He is all I need...He is the main thing. My doing can murky up the waters of God as my portion. I get sidetracked and miss the main thing.

Sitting before Him on a daily basis is not supposed to be about me...it's a focus on Him. If I never pastored again or served in full time ministry, would it be enough for me to have Him as my portion? If all of us had to lay aside our dreams, aspirations, and goals in order to replace them with just God - would we be content?

The reason He is enough is succinctly described in the two verses before this one. In the midst of doubt and trouble and affliction Jeremiah reminded himself:

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. they are new every morning: great is your faithfulness." Lam 3:22-23

The truth is that all my doing has been replaced with God's doing. He is all I need...not God's love...or even His mercy...but God Himself. He is the main thing.

Therefore I can do the undoing thing - wait.