Failing Forward

One of the temptations of my life is when I dwell on past failures. Even the many rejections I'm encountering in my search for a ministry, my tendency is simply to freeze and do nothing. Psychologist David Burns writes about what he calls the cycle of lethargy: When I'm faced with a challenge and I do nothing, it leads to distorted thoughts - that I am helpless, hopeless, and beyond change. These in turn lead to destructive emotions - loss of energy and motivation, damaged self-esteem, procrastination, avoidance, and escapism. These behaviors then reinforce negative thoughts, and the whole cycle spirals downward.

After six years of submitting hundreds of resumes, dozens of interviews and visits the tendency is for me to freeze and retreat. Like David I want to run into a cave and like Elijah I want to sit under a juniper tree and suck my thumb. Where's my blankey?

Yesterday I drove about an hour north to Seattle Pacific University to hear Dr. Ron White give an inspirational presentation of "Transformational Leadership". As a noted scholar on Abraham Lincoln, Dr. White's focus on the Second Inaugural Address brought to my mind the many failures that Lincoln had to overcome on his path to the presidency. Each has been listed and well documented. Here was a man who certainly was tempted to go back to his comfortable log cabin on many an occasion.

What I've come to realize is that no helicopter is going to come and whisk me away. No genie will pop out of a bottle to rescue me. No magic eraser will make things disappear. This is my life. I can't get out of who I am and the path God has given me so I need to get into it and realize my uniqueness. I need to take one small step toward trusting God and continue to persevere with my calling.

I was at the car dealership yesterday when a friend of mine that has sold me all my cars in the past six years surprised me this, "Jeff, you have such a unique perspective and background unlike any other minister I know. You have such a feel for regular people like me because you've stepped out of the pedestal and lived life with us." Could it be that these last six years have prepared me for something unique that I cannot see right now?

Michael Jordan wrote "I have missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I have lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions I have been entrusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

To run the best race you can, to give it everything that is in you, and win - that is glorious. To run the race, to give your best and lose - that's painful. But it is not failure. Failure is refusing to run the race at all.

With that I will "sprint" into a daily trust with God.