Avoiding Mr. Wimpy

This past Saturday I officated a wedding. While the person I was marrying was a friend I had known for several years and the setting was rather informal and somewhat administrative deficient, I still faced an emotion that had not appeared in me for some time - fear of speaking in the midst of a crowd. The palms got sweaty, the throat tightened, and my eyes widened. It was if I was already looking for an escape route to make my flight (possibly following an escaping groom by the look of his sweaty face and fear in his eyes).

The American Psychological Association published a book a few years ago that summarized all the research that has been done in recent years on identity. they looked at a basic paradox: Why are there so many people lacking self-esteem who have many reasons to have high self-esteem? They accomplish great things - they are gifted, attractive, and well-liked - yet struggle with self-esteem. Even people who have accomplished a great deal and are apparently successful are often prone to feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. Not only that, many people who receive much affirmation and admiration from significant others tend to disbelieve it and wrestle with self-esteem all the time. Even officating 50 weddings is not enough to overcome the fear of doing one!

All research suggests that self-esteem largely boils down to one issue: when you face a difficult situation, do you approach it, take action and face it head on, or do you avoid it and wimp out and run and hide?

The courage to not follow the "flight of the groom" comes from an inner life of relationship that is at ease with God. My fear was centered in my ability to perform - worrying that I might "blow it" instead of resting in myself and being me. I was busy all day working on my performance instead of resting in being me. I had a focus that magnified my performance as a road to self-esteem.

Here lies the crucible between trust and fear.

Trust is staring fear in the face and walking through the door of faith because of a life that is centered in God-acceptance that is genuine and real. What God thinks of me is what really matters. Fear focuses on what others think as a standard to live up to.

So do that hard thing today...face your fears...rest in yourself as God created you...

...and avoid being Mr. Wimpy.