God Wrestling

Like Jacob of old there are many days when I have wrestled with God. Usually it's because I want my own way or I desire for God to bless my own way. God's response is to stalemate me, wear me out, and touch me at the point of my weakness. That weakness becomes a reminder of everything in life I am not able to control. The resulting daily limp becomes my bulletin board with a message that in my weakness He is strong and present. With every touch He releases my identity that He has made me to be. I am truly being me. In my wrestling I usually ask God to make me into someone else - bless me! He comes back and says, "I am your ABBA Father, your Daddy. I know all about you, made you, and love you for who you are." Everyday in my moments of solitude and then daily as I live life, I wrestle with God over control. Everyday He touches me in my weakness and I limp away being me.